How do I step into the woman I feel is standing patiently, within my soul?
Gumption, balls, courage, steel, compassion, patience, respect and heart…are to my understanding, all the markings of a true woman, standing within and owning her true power.
The characteristics I believe, that I myself have…held, somewhere, deep within me, that I aspire towards one day, finally accessing…my spirit, whispering our potential to me and somedays…I think I can hear her.
Deep inside, I believe I know who I am and the who I want to be, within this complex world.
But all this crap, politics and my own internal rule system, seem to constantly get in my way.
I’m a constant contradiction to myself.
I can picture the woman inside me and I imagine her to be made like the willow tree.
Springing up like a fountain from our own Mother Earth,
her arms stretching up, branching out towards father sky but then, turning her gaze homeward again and with fingers splayed,
reaching-down, she holds her protective grace, to nurture all those, who choose to take shelter beneath her.
Her spirit is calm, gentle, caring and relentlessly patient.
And yet…though the storms blows around her and the ground shakes beneath her trunk…rooted she remains, firmly held within herself.
Bending to life’s currents, yet solid within her boundaries.
She can be woven and shaped to purpose by the loving hands of others yet always true to her nature she doesn’t break, nor does she lose the properties contained with her magical essence.
That is the woman I believe lays sleeping within me.
The spiritual essence I hear, whispering to me when life becomes hard and my physical body becomes too bruised, bound and is crying out, ENOUGH…I cannot do this.
I feel the torch still…always burning, promising me a guiding light through my hours of blindness, warmth against the cold wall of my shame, guilt and fear.
The seed is there, growing slowly…I can almost imagine its fragile shoots, unfolding towards tomorrows sun.
And I have hope…